Dear Anonymous Fitness Competitor

This was a blog post written by yours truly back in 2016. Some of this still resonates and some … well I have grown a ton. But I would hate to edit it out as this was the experience of a 25 year old. Thank you for being here and thank you for allowing me to continue to share my vulnerability.

Dear Anonymous Fitness Competitor,

I am writing today to discuss an opportunity to build a positive relationship between the health and wellness industry and fitness competitions. I am a very caring, passionate, dedicated, and personable female nutrition and fitness advocate. There are many individuals in my city who are constantly working on their physical appearance and have amazing transformations, whether they are doing a competition or not. However, there seems to be a gap between the drastic physical transformations and the limited mental transformations. Where even though these women and men make drastic improvements to their health, they still look in the mirror they still often continue to see their flaws and things that they need to work on rather than love everything that they have worked for. Maybe there are those who are out there that are just amazing confident and love themselves always. But holy… I have seen way more that are not

I made a stand that I was going to do it the right way and remain healthy throughout the entire process.

My Journey

We have not officially met yet but I hope that one day we can. I would quickly like to tell you my story. I would like to explain to you what you are about to go through. So, I became inspired to reach out to you today. I moved to my city in 2009 and fell in love with it instantly. The beauty of the landscape, the amazing and inspired people, the small town culture and the amazing academic opportunities offered at the university amazed me. After five years, I completed an Honours degree in Psychology.

The year I graduated was also the year I was introduced to the amazing benefits of weight lifting. It was also the year I competed in my first Bikini Competition. When I decided to compete in this competition I made a stand. I told myself that I was going to do it the right way. I was going to eat enough and remain physically healthy throughout the entire process. I ate clean, I did not take any additional supplements or fat burners, and I refused to go hungry. If I needed to stray from my meal plan in order to enjoy a family dinner, socialize with friends, deal with life, I would do just that.

Flexibility was key

After 3 months of solid preparation with the help of a personal trainer to teach me about weight lifting, my body was ready for the competition. However, my mind was not. Every time I looked in the mirror I did not think I was ready. Every time I ate something against my meal plan I still felt I was going to gain weight. And every time someone complimented me I would not accept it. I recall a moment when I had to take progress photos and I was crying because I thought I was not lean enough.

The funny thing is that when I look at those photos now I cannot believe it. I was so lean that I looked like I had an eating disorder. I did not realize I was struggling until my personal trainer started to teach me how to pose. I kept looking in the mirror and no matter how many times she told me I looked great. I felt like crying. I remember a moment where I wouldn’t even take my shirt off because I was having a “fat” day. A FAT DAY at 150 Pound and 18% body weight ?! That should not even be allowed to be said. These moments were when I became very aware. I realized that I had to personally work on battling those negative thoughts and mental struggles. I had achieved my ideal body and was still hating myself. After so many years of wishing for “Private Practice” arms and a lean torso… I still cried when I looked in the mirror.

The Mental Challenge was harder than the Physical Challenge

As a highly educated individual in the field of psychology, I had mentally prepared for the scary after-effects. I new there was going to be a lot of disordered thinking, Body Dysmorphic symptoms, and depression. They all came with losing the ideal body I trained so hard to get on that stage.

Fitness Competitions are not bad

I am not someone who believes fitness competitions are bad. I believe competitions can be amazing IF a woman is mentally prepared for how the process works. I also believe that the most important thing anyone can take away from the competition is the confidence you learn to have. You learn how to love being in your own skin with barely any clothing on for gods sake!!

I was asked to help work with a group of female bikini athletes who are competing in an upcoming show a few years after I did mine. I have been a coach and mentor for youth for many years and my only goal in life is to be able to help other’s to discover their best selves. Half the battle on stage is that most girls are not portraying their authentic selves in front of the judges. They may hit their front pose and back pose. But they do not stand out as individuals with a purpose other than being in a bikini. The power that comes with self-confidence is what makes a winner stand out from the crowd, whether that be in a bikini competition or in daily life.

I am not sure if I wanted to call my services “Posing Classes”

There was a lot more involved. We focused on building self – confidence, eliminating negative self –talk, embracing the power of female sexuality while laughing and having fun. All I wanted to do is help women feel comfortable in their own skin. I want them to be able to own their new bodies that they worked so hard to achieve. I want to be that person to help them realize their potential and face themselves in the mirror and practice self-love. Most people tend to focus on the external world to validate their beauty but at the end of the day if we don’t love ourselves and our bodies then what do we have?

Love yourself no matter what

I hope that as you continue on your journey to do a fitness competition you keep this in mind. You remember that it is not just about your body fat percentage, or your muscle definition. It is about the journey you take to maintain that confidence. That confident have worked so hard at finding. No matter what happens, no matter what place you get on that stage, you must come out the other side loving your mind, body, and soul. Because the battle you will face when the physical changes happen is when that love is going to shine through the most.

Your body may not be stage ready all the time. But your mind can always be if you train it ♥

I cannot wait to hear about the journey of discovery you made.

Sincerely,
Just another Millennial on the search for a happy, healthy, and sustainable lifestyle ♥ (Written in 2016 by a younger version of myself)