My First Kirtan Chanting Experience

This was a blog post written by yours truly back in 2016. Some of this still resonates and some … well I have grown a ton. But I would hate to edit it out as this was the experience of a 25 year old. Thank you for being here and thank you for allowing me to continue to share my vulnerability.

It was my last Sunday night at the Yoga Retreat and I was sitting around the table with a bunch of beautiful people. I was taking in every last moment before I was about to go home. I was in the process of reflecting on everything that had happened to me over the last 30 days at The Yoga Retreat. However, I was unable to pinpoint any personal shift that had occurred. I was so scared that I had gone on this huge adventure and I hadn’t changed at all.

While finishing up dinner one of the lovely ladies at the end of the table asked if we wanted to go to The Pyramid Yoga Centre. We were going to participate in Kirtan Chanting with Akari Tamura, a very well-known yoga instructor and kirtan singer. I was not super keen on leaving the retreat. I was a person that gets really comfortable in routine. However, it was my last weekend and I decided to just say “Yes” and go against my automatic response. We hopped in the back of a pick-up truck and sped through the island of Koh Phangan. There is nothing better than being under the beautiful stars and being embraced by a Full Moon.

Enter the Pyramid

When we arrived we walked through a path of trees lit with lanterns. It felt like at end of the trail was going to be a magic house with fairies and wish granters. However, there were no fairies but there was this beautifully lit pyramid. When I entered the space my mind was blown away. The pyramid was lit with black lights, there was neon artwork all over the walls and people were sitting ever so comfortably on pillows. I grabbed a seat near the wall and just waited. I had no idea what to expect but that was the exhilarating part. Even though the experience was completely foreign to me, I knew in my heart that it was going to be worth staying up late for.

Akari told us that for the rest of the evening we were to just follow our bodies and do what our heart wanted us to do.

Akari entered the Pyramid, sat down with her music partner, and explained to the group how Kirtan chanting worked. It was a call and repeat style where she would say a phrase and then the group would sing back. She told us that for the rest of the evening we were to just follow our bodies and do what our heart wanted us to do. That could mean we could stay seated on the pillows, we could get up and dance, we could sing as loud or as quiet as we wanted, and we could embrace any emotions that needed to be let go.

Emotion Overload

Once everyone was settled and comfortable Akari started strumming her guitar and I could feel the emotion in the room change instantly. I could feel love emanating from every soul in the room. All of a sudden my emotions were at the forefront, I was comfortable and I was completely open to taking in everything she had to teach the group that night through her music. I was hesitant to sing during the first song but after 5 minutes of chanting all of a sudden an energy was lifted from me. I was sitting there swaying with my eyes closed taking in the music, Akari’s voice, the Kirtan style, and the voices of everyone else within the pyramid bouncing off of the walls and my voice got louder without me even having to think about it.

Kirtan’s Power to Free the Spirit

There was a moment during these two hours of Kirtan chanting when I all of a sudden felt a weight completely lift off of me. It was a weight that had been sitting on my chest for years. The weight, was fear. The fear of being rejected, fear of being not good enough, fear of failure, fear of being unattractive, fear of speaking my truth. All of a sudden the fear was gone and tears started rolling down my face.

I was in this sacred space with so many beautiful souls who were all fighting their own battles and we were finally able to be free and let go of the fears that confine us out in the world.

I will never forget the moment when I felt those fears melt away. And whenever I listen to the album it brings me back to that moment. It reminds me of how far I have come.

I was in this sacred space with so many beautiful souls who are all fighting their own battles. We were finally given permission let go of the fears that confine us out in the world.

Just Say Yes

If I hadn’t said yes to going on a random adventure I wouldn’t have released my fears. I learned that it is important to step outside of your comfort zone. I also experienced things that may not be considered the “norm”. When you do this you never know what will happen to you. That Sunday was the perfect way to end my stay at The Yoga Retreat. I was unsure of where I had come and how much I had grown from the beginning of my trip. However, the night in the Pyramid made me realize that I was finally ready to release all of those fears. I was ready to move with courage to embrace the new and the unknown.

There is something to be said about saying “Yes”. This powerful word can take you down many different paths where the opportunity for personal growth is immense. However, we are taught to critically think about everything we see, hear, and learn about before we even say “maybe”. Try practicing getting rid of that barrier and see what happens. See how many new experiences you have, how many new people you meet, and how many memories you can make.

Sincerely,
Just another Millennial on the search for a happy, healthy, and sustainable lifestyle ♥ (Written in 2016 by a younger version of myself)