An Ode To My Future Partner

This was a blog post written by yours truly back in 2016. Some of this still resonates and some … well I have grown a ton. But I would hate to edit it out as this was the experience of a 25 year old. Thank you for being here and thank you for allowing me to continue to share my vulnerability.

There was a moment recently where I found myself lying in bed reminiscing about past experiences. I came to the realization that I have never truly identified what it was that I want from someone else. I found that I always pretended to be someone I thought I was expected to be. I consistently tried to live up to expectations in order to cater to another person’s happiness. But I realized after doing the casual dating thing that all of us put up this front where we pretend to be someone we are not. I believe we do this because we want someone to want us so bad that we will do anything to be that ideal person for them.

While looking up at my ceiling I had an epiphany.

There is a pattern.

•

•

•

I have a pattern!

When it comes to relationships I always work so hard to make my significant other happy that I am willing to sacrifice my own happiness in the process. However, I am getting to that age where sacrificing my personal growth and happiness is not acceptable. I am also getting to that age where casual dating is not fun. I do not want to sit down and introduce myself and tell my story to men who may only be thinking “how long will it take until we have sex?”.

I am looking for something real. I am looking for someone who wants to be with me when the timing in our life is ready. Timing is everything and I believe that I know what I want and when the timing is right that perfect person will enter my life.

So when I made this realization I was unable to fully put it into such perfectly written paragraphs. Rather, it almost turned into a poem of some sort. I was unable to express what I wanted fully but I could put random sentences together in a list format. That is how I have been taught to organize my thoughts throughout my entire education. And here it proved successful.

So here is what I came up with:

I am not a girl who wears fancy clothes and spends a lot of time on make-up.

I am not a girl who is concerned about having a low body fat percentage and social media fame.

I am not a girl who will lower her self-worth for someone else’s ego.

I am no longer a girl who will stop shining so that the man in her life can shine brighter.

I am a girl who is intelligent and driven.

I am a girl who will do anything to make someone else’s day a little brighter.

I am a girl who works very hard to remind herself of her own beauty each and every day.

I am now a girl who knows what she wants.
.
.

I want someone I can tell all of my thoughts and secrets to.

I want someone who will always be on my side.

I want someone who enjoys and embraces my quirks.

I want someone who wants to work together to become successful.

I want a partner.
.
.

I want a partner I can count on to always have my back.

I want a partner who is ready to grow and change together.

and all I want is to be able to also be that partner for someone else.
.
.

Thank you xo

Sincerely,
Just another Millennial on the search for a happy, healthy, and sustainable lifestyle ♥ (Written in 2016 by a younger version of myself)