My Spirit Animal: The Beaver

This was a blog post written by yours truly back in 2016. Some of this still resonates and some … well I have grown a ton. But I would hate to edit it out as this was the experience of a 25 year old. Thank you for being here and thank you for allowing me to continue to share my vulnerability.

As a child I lived near the forest and there were always trees cut down by beavers. There were also fences put up around old oaks in order to protect nature from their “destructive” behaviour. I was always fascinated by these mysterious creatures who I was never able to see in action. I think in my eighteen years living at home I only saw a beaver once.

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Since moving to Kelowna I have discovered a Wildlife Sanctuary. This secluded area right outside of the city centre is a serene place where I always go to calm my mind. Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry, and sometimes I just watch all of the animals go about their lives as if I wasn’t even there. There is something calming about recognizing that the natural world does not stop for us humans.

I have seen turtles, fish, birds of all kinds, and even muskrats. However, in my 7 years of living in Kelowna I never saw a beaver until a month ago. A month ago was the same time I decided to make a decision. I decided to “Choose Me” for the first time in my life. I did not think anything deeper of this first encounter with the beaver other than that it was a rare sighting. I was so excited that I named the beaver Fred. However, it is extremely odd that in the last month I have seen (what I would like to think is) the same beaver three times.

Fred The Beaver Encounter 1

The first time I saw Fred I was enjoying a romantic evening in the Wildlife Sanctuary with a good man. He was telling me all the right things. We were getting close but also discussing the fact that we needed time to work on ourselves. We have always wanted to be more than just friends but we both are smart enough to know that at this point in our lives we cannot be more than that. However, the romantic tension was high. We were getting close to breaking our boundaries with a goodnight kiss when all of a sudden there was rustling behind us. I jumped around and stared into the darkness. I couldn’t tell exactly what it was but I got my good friend to shine his handy dandy iPhone flashlight in the direction of the noise.

There he was. A beautiful, strong, long-tailed Beaver chopping away at a tree. Fred did not even flinch when we shone the light on him. Instead he finished his work and then slid back into the water. We both jokingly concluded that we couldn’t kiss because Fred was watching us. But after that moment our date came to a close and we walked each other back to our cars with the understanding that Fred was a sign that we were meant to stay friends.

…Fred The Beaver Encounter 2

The second time I saw Fred was after a very unorganized morning. I had the goal of waking up at 6:00am on International Yoga day and go to a yoga class. So, I got up and ripped down to the yoga studio to find that the early morning class was cancelled. I was standing in front of the yoga studio with my mat under my arm and had no where to go. I was already awake and I knew I wouldn’t go home and do my practice.

I had all intentions of surrounding myself with other likeminded souls that morning but instead plans were cancelled and I was left alone. So, I decided to go to the Wildlife Sanctuary and be a true yogi. I tried doing yoga outside. I lay my mat down in front of a memorial bench and started my practice. During my Savasana I was struggling with the feeling of being lonely and when I was lying down on my mat looking up at the morning sky I heard some rustling. I rolled over and low and behold Fred jumped in the water and started swimming along the rocky shore. I didn’t think anything of it but I was happy to see him again ♥.

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Also, from the get go I knew that we were not compatible because as soon as he walked up to me and he told me I was so tall.

Now, the third time I saw Fred was tonight. It was tonight that I realized that seeing him was a sign from the universe. I have been struggling all week with realizing that I am going to be okay alone. I had made several plans with someone important to me in the past two weeks that had been cancelled. I am finding that I am one to make time to see people that I want in my life but the people I want in my life are unable to make time for me. Rather than making time they are looking for time.

But this is the thing…

Time cannot be found. It is a matter of sectioning off a portion of your day and dedicating yourself to the people you want to see. When you are looking for time you will never find it because there is always something in our daily routines that will take over. I am struggling with realizing that others do not want to make time for me like I want to make time for them. How is it that the people I want in my life do not want to make time to be in mine?

I was dealing with this sense of feeling unwanted. Therefore, I consciously decided I was to go on a date to distract myself from my romantic feelings for someone else. I hopped back on Tinder for a short while and found someone that seemed to fit the bill. He invited me to go for a walk downtown and grab a tea so I said sure…what did I have to lose.

Fred The Beaver Encounter 3

Going into the date I already knew exactly what it was. I just needed a friendly reminder from the universe that I need to walk my path alone for now. The universe gave me exactly what I needed. The date was completely unsuccessful. The conversation was limited. Also, from the get go I knew that we were not compatible because as soon as he walked up to me and he told me I was so tall. However, I am grateful for this date because I got to see Fred again.

While I was walking along the boardwalk my date pointed out a beaver in the water. My heart started pounding and I came to realize that it was Fred again. He was so far away from the Wild Life Sanctuary. It did not make sense why he would be there out of all places and times of the night. The world has a funny way of trying to tell us exactly what we need to know. I believe that the universe likes to connect with us in different ways. I like to think Fred was trying to tell me something.

We both jokingly concluded that we couldn’t kiss because Fred was watching us.

…Google knows all the things

Because of my three beaver encounters in less than a month I wondered if he could be my spirit animal. So as soon as I got home I went to Google. I decided to look into the symbolic meaning of a beaver. I googled “Meaning of the Beaver Spirit Animal” and I got exactly what I was looking for. The Animal Symbolism website reports that beavers are a symbol of believing in your dreams. The website told me that the beaver symbolized that one must change their life path in order to make their dreams a reality. Basically, the beaver is a symbol of working hard to build your life. In order to get it to where you envision your life in your dreams conscious action is required.

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Now, I have come to realize that everytime I saw Fred I was not staying on my course. First, I was dancing around with the idea of starting a romance with someone I know is better off being my friend. Second, I was lying on my yoga mat feeling sad and lonely ruminating on my personal struggles. Third, I was on a date with someone in the middle of my “I Choose Me” 12 week program.

Everytime I saw Fred I was going against what my vision of my future looked like. I can see my dream future and it looks amazing. I know everything will happen in due time and patience is key. But I am human so I do make mistakes and slip off course once in a while. I like to think I veer off course just to remind myself of where I truly want to go.

It is beyond amazing how one little animal can teach you so much. Please take a moment and recognize the little things that happen around you. You will never know when the universe is trying to send you a very important message.

Sincerely,
Just another Millennial on the search for a happy, healthy, and sustainable lifestyle ♥(Written in 2016 by a younger version of myself)